Jennifer Carroll is a 21 year old actor and writer. She first began writing for the Uxbridge Cosmos in 2007 when she had the opportunity to share her experiences as a Canadian ambassador for an international conference for women in Dubai. At the beginning of 2008, she moved to Ireland to pursue a career in theatre and film. Far From Home is her monthly account on living and working in Dublin.
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"Firsts"
It's been 18 short months, and such a long year and a half.
While I continue to hack my way through the weeds of my industry, I'm drawn to think back on new beginnings, of firsts: how my heart sat in my throat flying into Dublin, how timid my feet were discovering the city, how steely my nerves grew as I began to pound the cobblestone streets.
My wee baby brother came to visit me this month. 15 years old, my determined little brother bought his own ticket, stepped alone onto his international flight, and got off five thousand miles from home, his own impressive list of firsts.
I showed him the familiar corners of my country. From the well tread paths of my city, through the prestigious Trinity College, of the famous General Post Office and the imposing Gaelic stadium Croke Park. We walked through the history of the troubles, of Irish pride and their fight for independence. We skipped up to Belfast and catapulted ourselves over the city in the city 'eye' to see the view from the top.
Perhaps the favourite part of the trip for the both of us was the west coast. Ireland is a completely different country outside the big city Dublin. The pulse in Galway is young, bright, small and artistic. I took Michael north of Galway through Connemara. There's a savage sort of beauty through the west. Literally honeycombed with stone fences, the countryside is the greenest you've ever seen, broken only by the narrow roads and sloping white rocks projecting from the emerald hills. The stark landscape against the cold sea is breathtaking, and as we floated away on the ferry to Inis Oirr, we watched Connemara behind us and the Cliffs of Moher to our left, and I could see the wonder and discovery in Michael's eyes.
As I sit and look at the Humphrey Bogart postcard taped to my mirror, my mind wanders to my friend Bairbre who sent it to me, and more new beginnings. Babs and I met working on the same production for the 2008 Fringe Festival. We bonded over gels, sound boards, desk lamps and more cups of tea than I could count. She's wonderfully funny, talented, and just as stubborn and determined as me. She's one of the dearest friends I have, and it wasn't until we became friends that I really felt I had a home here. Last month she packed her bags and gathered together her ambitions to move to Canada and pursue training and work as an actor. I chuckle at the irony, as we've now switched places and Bairbre is finding her feet in Toronto.
I'm excited for her, to discover a city I love very dearly, to stake out her corner of it and call it home. Who knows, maybe we'll tread the boards together in both countries one day.
Surrounded by the tantalizing excitement of new experiences for my loved ones reminds me of the anticipation in the first baby steps in my journey. It's terrifying but electrifying, and I wish Babs nothing but the best. I know it won't be easy, but the mistakes she makes will be her own, and they'll shape who she becomes.
As for Dublin, the recession is still digging deep into everyone's fear and their pockets, but the sun is still shining and the charm of the country still enduring. I'll be curious to see how artists survive with the severity of the economic collapse. But I'm learning that the best tools I have are determination, discipline, tenacity and passion. We've been through worse and we'll go through worse later from now. I'm just grateful to still be chasing my dream.
Jennifer, after graduating from theatre school in North Bay, left for Ireland in January of ‘08 to search for both her heritage and her life’s passion. She reports on her quest every month in the Cosmos.
